Why You Shouldn't Forget Your Intuition When Looking For Love

by Gill Crowley

intuitionThe human race is equipped with amazing powers to ensure its survival. We all have instincts, “gut feelings” and the ability to unconsciously read body language. Nature gave us these things, so we should never underestimate their importance when choosing a mate.

In today’s world, many people meet on the Internet and it is very difficult to use these instincts in order to determine whether the person we have fallen for on the screen is really who they say they are.

When we meet someone new in person, we subconsciously sum them up in a few seconds and can instantly form a judgment: Do I feel comfortable in their company? Do I trust him/her or not? Am I in tune with his/her personality?

It’s very important, especially when new to dating, to remember this and always to follow our instincts and listen to our “gut feelings.”

It’s very tempting to spend hours communicating with someone on an online dating site who tells us all the things we want to hear. It is easy to fall in love with that image even though we have never actually met the person.

This can be a dangerous thing to do. It is not possible to truly fall in love with someone who you have never spent any physical time with. It is so easy to get carried away because you are looking for meaningful connections and can get very attached to someone.

It’s important to never forget that what really draws two people together is chemistry.

chemistry in loveYes, you may have lots in common and enjoy doing many of the same things, though this is important in a relationship, it is the chemistry that is the crucial thing.

In the old days, we met people within our local community. We usually knew something about them from mutual friends or from their local reputation, so had a bit of a headstart when it came to knowing that they were genuine.

That, combined with our own instincts and the presence of chemistry between us, made making judgments about someone much easier.

But the world has changed dramatically since our younger days and we need to be aware that while the good ones far outnumber the bad, there are still people out there who are not who they appear to be.

Today when we meet someone on the internet, they are strangers, and we have no way of knowing that what they are telling us is the truth. We have no help at all from their body language, because we have no access to any other visual cues or feel any chemistry, so it is important not to form any sort of attachment until we have actually met them for real.

It is a good idea to arrange to meet someone in person fairly soon after connecting up online so that you don’t waste too much time if someone turns out not to be compatible after all.

Always exercise caution when you first meet up and make your own safety top priority by meeting in a public place and not giving your home address or too many personal details about yourself away too soon.

Always trust your intuition – if something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t. Don’t ignore these feelings. More often than not, you will be right, so always listen to your inner voice. Nature gave us this gift for a reason, so make sure you use it to keep yourself safe and to ensure that you end up with someone who is right for you.

Finding that special someone takes time, so don’t be in a rush. However you meet your mate, either online or in the community, make sure you step back and give yourself time to really evaluate what it is you are looking for. Make sure your judgment is not clouded by the fear of being on your own or by any other reasons. Don’t settle for second best and make sure that the chemistry is there and you are truly compatible before finally deciding that you have found your soulmate.


How to Meet a Good Man dot ComGill Crowley has been running her own dating agency in the UK for the past 20 yearsand has helped thousands of people to find love over the years. She has recently sold the business so that she can concentrate on writing. She contributes to a number of newsletters as well as her own blog. She is currently working on a number of ebooks, two of which are now available on Amazon Kindle. You can find details of these on her website and also learn more about Gill and her projects. Please visit How to Meet A Good Man or follow her on Twitter @tlcdating.