Introducing Someone New to the Family On Christmas

Christmas can be the most anticipated and the most dreaded holiday of the year for the very same reason: family.

If you have recently begun dating again, nerves come from the extended family’s reaction to this news, not on whether your roast is dry or not. But then, this news is not as big or as bad as actually having someone to introduce.

Depending on your circumstances, this can be incredibly easy or seemingly impossible. But the ingredients to this stew are simple enough: openness, sincerity and generosity.

In the first place, you’ve probably already told the children and important family members that you want to date again. And when you meet someone, you mention this someone. You talk of them, whether you like them, and what you like about them.

Share funny stories, and even make harmless fun! This puts dating in a happy light, something that you and your children bond over, rather than something that puts a wedge between you.

Often, men and women only find trepidation in introducing someone new because they are springing it on the family.

Widowhood and divorce have their share of unpleasantness--dating balances things out. Your grown children would understand this. They’d appreciate being included, especially in the decision. “Let’s invite Fred/Diana over for Christmas. That good with you?”

“Nice to meet you!”

Introducing someone new for Christmas means bringing someone new to this most family-centric of all holidays.

Inviting someone for Christmas is a tacit agreement between you and your family that you’ve met someone special--and this status is something your family should already have seen previously.

Not to mention, it helps a great deal to have some help when Aunt Josie or Cousin Harry gawks and says something tactless.

Expectations and Realities

Movies and novels have coloured our lives to a ridiculous extent. And yet we know better than to be a doormat to pressure. Our Christmases are often less dramatic or comedic than fiction and society would have us believe. There would be no drunken kisses, nor pranks. There wouldn’t be perfection either, as if everything is scripted and choreographed.

But there would be memories and compromised loyalties. This is where generosity of spirit comes in.

Divorced families have their ways of splitting their Christmases with good feeling, setting aside any resentments that still linger. Some spend Christmas eve and the morning with one parent, and then lunch and dinner with the other parent, alternating every year. Sometimes, one parent joins the children to lunch with the other parent, and for that meal or perhaps a drink, they’re together, all friends, before they separate again.

There might be a twinge of sadness. People missing people and wishing for Christmases past. This is normal, and it’s not personal. That your someone new is willing to brave this simmering pot of mixed emotions, speaks very highly of him/her.

Christmas is a lovely time. Let it be lovely (Just don’t let the kids catch you).