Another Reason It's Called 'Mature:' Sensuality and Sexploration

the age of rediscovery

Who coined the phrase ‘mature dating’ for over-50s dating anyway? We’d look that up for you later, don’t worry. We have a far more interesting thing to talk about.

Without the distraction of careers and children, men and women come to this age in their life ready for adventure and curious about everything. Many take up hobbies and even learn new languages and skills. Travelling is fueled by the thirst to explore and experience. Sports like wall climbing and body-building are giving golf a run for its money as retirees and pre-retirees discover and test their physical powers and limits.

Here’s where the ‘mature’ term gets interesting: one of the avenues of exploration for sensory and physical experience is sex.

Sensual ballroom dancing, tantric sex lessons, burlesque, workshops for spanking--yes, these things exist and they’re on high demand, not to mention erotic fiction, which the over-50s create and not just read.

While many over-50s in the dating scene are here for companionship and a potential long-term relationship, just as many are interested in casual sex. This interest varies from being open to it as they go along in the search of a significant partner, to outright exclusively seeking it.

Second wind for sensualitySurprisingly, this still has a bit of stigma in the younger set--people who date for sex are disparaged, bluntly or subtly, even in movies. It’s supposed to be the age of finding “the one” and settling down, and those who do otherwise are always depicted as lost souls-- but for the over-50s, it’s a celebration and a coup, especially for women who see this as their turn and their due.

Women are particularly more willing to explore this area than men. Perhaps because men consider themselves already finished with exploring? They’ve done the wild oats sowing in their late teens, twenties and even thirties, whereas most women in the same age demographics were preoccupied back then with establishing and maintaining a foothold in college and in their careers, which were dominions of men.

Besides, today’s women in their 50s, 60s and 70s lived in particularly stifling eras despite the rock and roll and freedom vibe of the 60s, 70s and 80s. Sensuality and sexuality was something of a niche then, not so easily accessed, and not without social ramifications.

Now, there’s freedom and excitement. Friends giggle together as they sign up for tango and commission nude portraits. Sexual energy is humming at high levels, aided by the fascinating effect of discovering that sex is all in the mind.

This adds titillating facet to mature dating. Finding someone who shares this exploration with you (or perhaps gives you a lesson on what to do and what not to do) is delicious.

This kind of confidence shows a sought-after level of self-esteem and self-knowledge. After all, pleasuring and loving the self is the uppermost tenet of sensuality. Only when you do can you also give the same pleasure and love.