MM Success Stories: "Comfortable" Makes Love Sweet and True

April and Steve


Love should be comfortableApril: The thing is, I wasn’t shy about wanting someone again--what I was shy about is going online.

I’ve told my friends and family I wanted to love someone again. They were all a little batty in trying to set me up with this man or that man they knew, or someone’s cousin’s friend’s lawyer. Of course, they also suggested I actively seek out my new love myself by going online.

Everyday, you read or hear horror stories about stolen identities and stolen hearts along with stolen money! I always consult my children about the new privacy changes on Facebook. I was very careful. You can imagine my squeamishness at posting about myself on a dating site. This time, it would be out in public, for everyone to see!

I don’t want to scare people--(laughs)--but that was how I felt. And it’s because of this initial discomfort that I was so glad I met Steve. He was a steady sort. He was very cool, actually. You wouldn’t have thought he was interested.

Steve: I was.

April: Sure you were. His first message to me was a hello and ‘Your fish is dying. Do you have a heater in that tank? And do you test the water?’ (laughs)

Steve: It’s as good an opener as any. It shows I was attentive, didn’t it?

April: We started from there. He sounded accusatory, not at all like you’d expect from a guy in a dating site. I’ve had several uninteresting messages I’d ignored, but I couldn’t ignore his. I asked him to elaborate about my fish, and he made me forget I was ever nervous about going online for a new chance at love.

Steve: I was like a know-it-all fish retailer. Of course you’d forget you were on a dating site.

April: We talked and talked. Almost everyday. He became a friend. He felt like a friend I’ve reconnected with, rather than one I just met!

Steve: And yet you didn’t want to see me yet.

April: Well no. (laughs) I wasn’t that comfortable yet. But you still saw me, didn’t you. He insisted to be my date to a friend’s retirement do. I thought that wonderful. I’ll be surrounded by friends. I was going to be safe. I arranged for us to meet at the restaurant.

Steve: She didn’t want to show me where she lived yet.

April: But you did see where I lived afterward. I was so comfortable with him-- we talked to each other all night at the party. We were very similar. Interests and careers. And when I was in a group, he was in it, too, talking and laughing and sharing stories. You couldn’t tell he wasn’t part of the circle at all.

Steve: You’re just as charming, love. Your friends love you. They were also trying to make you comfortable by being nice to me.

April: They were nice to you because they saw how nice you were to me. Otherwise they’d have eaten you alive.

Steve: Good thing I’m kind and generous, then.

April: If you say so. We live an hour apart. We see each other easily. My children love him, which is a real bonus. I feel I can trust him completely.

Steve: There’s risk in everything, even love, online or offline. You just open yourself up. See what you get. If there’s something, a clue, grab it. For me, it was a dying fish.

April: The fish is still alive!