What It Takes to Create and Maintain Relationships

Happy couples with flames shining brightly - sometimes we adore them, sometimes we don’t. However, love them or not, it does take a lot of work and good judgment to keep a relationship going for a long time.

There’s no absolute formula to make a relationship last, but here are some things couples in long term relationships do to keep the flame from going dim.

1. Real Communication

Obviously, relationships depend deeply on communication. Successful happy couples build this up to keep the whole thing together. They find time to communicate how they feel and what they want to each other. It’s driven by the right words and appreciation both partners aim for.

It goes beyond everyday communication – greetings, calls and text messages are still included – it’s about understanding what your partner wants to share with you. Be it about the neighbour’s cute dog or a funny incident at the mall, communicating from the heart strengthens intimacy.

2. Doing Things Together

It can be mundane such as going to the grocers or as profound as attending a seminar, doing things together proved to be another way of being intimate. Even apart, some couples do things like watch a movie together online as they share the same screen.

The important thing is including your partner in every plan you make. Don’t assume that he or she will be too busy to do it with you, remember to always ask first.

3. Choosing Battles

Fights are not unusual in relationships; especially long term ones, but happy couples know how to choose their battles. Learning to let go of minor issues doesn’t make you weak; some fights are just not worth it. Serious issues have to be discussed regardless, but it’s better to talk it over cool heads.

4. Giving Them a Breather

A relationship is full time. Admittedly, it can be exhausting at some point and you might just want to be alone. A happy relationship recognises this need. A time away from your partner gives you the space you need and it also gives you the opportunity to appreciate them better.


5. Giving Without Expecting

Happy couples always give from the heart. Over time, they realise that the best gifts to give are the ones their partner really loves. If he or she is a bookworm, a book is best. Love cooking? Cooking books or utensils come to mind.

It’s not about price either. New couples give to impress, long term ones give because they actually care. They don’t expect something in return too, just the happiness it’ll bring.

6. Setting Goals Together

Single people have goals for themselves. Once they find a person to spend life with, their goals rematerialise. Happy couples discuss their future – what and where they will be in a couple of years or a decade. Joint goals are not only set, but aimed to be done together.

Even when some goals can be done separately, long term happy couples recognise the strength it brings if they do it with their partners. It fortifies trust and intimacy.

Most people dismiss long term relationships as involving tons of hard work and effort. But when you find a person as willing as you to make it successful, it wouldn’t feel like work at all – just spending a lot of time with your best friend for life.