6 Must-Have Tips for Dating After Decades of Widowhood

 

You’re sitting alone in your living room, the kids are gone, matured and living with families of their own. You know you’ll always cherish the memories you’ve shared with your dearly departed husband, but it’s already been decades of widowhood. It may finally be time to find a new companion. Not just to fill any void anymore, but because you know your heart now asks the question “Well, why not?”

 

The grieving period is done, adjusting is a thing of the past and you start to wonder why you haven’t considered this in the first place. You can go back into dating again and feel the thrill of getting to know someone new, who is also as interested in getting to know you.

The only problem now is-- when you finally do decide that you actually are doing this, what should you do when you’re about to get back into dating?

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Don’t be afraid of judgment

Remember all that talk about recently widowed women and dating? All the judgment and stereotypes for “letting it go” too fast? That shouldn’t be a problem or an issue to you anymore because you’ve done your time. You’ve proven it to yourself that your love is, and always will be, true and treasured even when death has parted you both. You’ve held it on so well, and you know close friends and family will testify to it. In fact, you’re now often coaxed to meet someone by friends and family!

Take it easy

There’s no pressure here because it’s just dating. You may be thinking you’re already comfortable and used to being alone. Dating again can seem unthinkable and even ridiculous. You worry that, since it’s been a while, you’ve no idea how to do this anymore. Don’t stress! Take it easy, be yourself and treat the person how you’d think they need to be treated on a date.

Also,you’re getting back into the dating life because you know now what you want, to get to know people and have people be interested in you again as well. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trying to get married again too. The thing about dating after widowhood is that your focus now is finding happiness again and have a good time.

Be honest to yourself and your date

So that you get the fact out that yes, you are a widow for so long, but you are so many other things as well. You’re still a person with characteristics, a personality, hobbies and interests beyond the fact of your loss. It shouldn't have to be a reason for this new person to run off because of either fear that you haven’t gotten over it yet or that you would constantly compare them to your husband. You’ve already healed! And after all the time and wait, chances are that the people you’ll meet are mature enough to understand that.

Know that People are different

This is a different game. Seriously, love isn’t going to be the same the second time around. The person you would be dating is totally new which is why you get to know them. Even if there is that chance that you’ll be looking for someone who is somehow like your departed husband, the living person you’ll be with isn’t him. it’s better that way!

Feel free to explore, try new things!

The fun part is discovering that with a new person everything’s different and that’s okay. It’s a way for you try new things as well and that can be exciting. Maybe there are activities or places you’ve never gotten to try with your husband before because it wasn’t his thing or yours at the time. You have to remember, you’ve grown as a person now as well and now you may have a lot more that you’re willing to try - whether it’s testing out unusual cuisine or going a tour date somewhere that’s adventurous.

Don't be afraid to try online dating

Well, it is a new dating scene! Online dating isn’t just a passing trend, it’s proven to be another means of finding meaningful relationships. It’s the best and most accessible go to when you’re looking to meet new people and with the right website and know how, you won’t have to worry about dangers.

When you do meet someone new, get to know them in a deeper level and start to develop feelings of love again, embrace it! Your new love would be just as valuable as the old one, but it's not meant to ruin the old one or replace it. You've grown as an individual with so much love to give, whether a friendship or new romance.